It started with a whisper…

3.8 0
26.9K
57
4 min

It started with a whisper faintly appearing on the wind.

‘Psst.’

Larineth glanced around the field she was in, and after not seeing anyone, she went back to her task: picking the most beautiful flowers she could find and laying them in a basket. Today was her birthday, and she had proudly told anyone that she met that she was turning nine years old today, and soon she would be an adult just like them.

‘Psst.’

She looked up, feeling goose bumps appear on her skin as she glanced around again, still not seeing anybody. She looked down at the daisy she had just picked, and recoiled in horror, throwing it with a scream. Her eyes watched as the daisy, that was now a black, rotting…thing… sailed through the air, disappearing amongst the many flowers in the field.

She stared at the spot it had disappeared, breathing heavily at the shock.

‘PSST.’

It was louder this time, making her whirl around in search of the intruder.

“Who’s there!” she yelled. No answer.

“This isn’t funny!” Again, no answer.

She felt a chill creep into her spine as she looked around the field, every which way. There was a rustling, which her head snapped towards, before realizing the wind was making all the plants sway lazily. She shivered, despite the sunlight beaming down on her. She quickly started heading towards her village, basket in hand.

She hurried, bursting into the front door of her home.

“Mama! I got some!” She called out. No answer.

“Mama?” Again, no answer. She slowly crept through the house, searching for any sign of her mother.

She heard the floor creak and whipped around to face the noise, not seeing anything. She crept towards the back room, the room that belonged to her mother. As she got nearer, it came back.

‘Psst.’

Nervously looking around Larineth still couldn’t see anyone. The house suddenly got dark, all light seeming to disappear into shadow.

“W-who’s there? What do y-you want w-with me?” she managed to stutter out.

There was no answer. She took another step towards her mother’s room, before the sound came again.

‘Psst.’

Glancing around fearfully, she darted forward, into her mother’s room, only to see a figure standing over the still form of her mother. The figure was wrapped in a black robe, and seemed to be staring at her. Larineth gulped as she looked towards where the face would be, only to see nothing but shadow.

‘Soon.’

The figure slowly faded out of view, seeming to dissolve into thin air. Larineth rubbed her eyes to make sure she wasn’t seeing things, before running over to her mother.

“Mama!” No answer. She wasn’t moving.

Larineth bolted, running outside and searching for the nearest person she could find. As she glanced around an uneasy feeling appeared in the pit of her stomach. Her village seemed… empty. She ran to the nearest house, pounding on the door and screaming for help. The door slowly creaked inwards, but there was nobody there. She cautiously walked in, exploring, and found the people. On the floor. Unmoving.

Larineth screamed and ran, but the next house was the same. Everyone was silent. Lifeless. She ran from house to house, tears streaming down her face as she screamed and yelled for someone, ANYONE to help her. There was no answer to her cries. She went through the entire village, only to find that she was the last one alive.

As she looked around in her hysteria, she noticed the robed figure from her house earlier. The cloth moved as if the figure was pointing at her, but there was no visible limb, only shadow.

‘Soon.’

The voice echoed around her. She dropped to her knees sobbing before letting out the loudest scream she possibly could.

She screamed as she sat up, in her bed. Sweating profusely and glancing around. “It was just a dream…” she muttered to herself.

“Larineth! Come eat! Breakfast is ready!” She heard her mother yell from the kitchen.

“It was just a dream.” She reassured herself before going to the kitchen.

After eating and getting dressed for the day, her mother handed her a basket, “Why don’t you go pick some flowers sweetie? The ones on the table are looking sad.”

Larineth glanced behind her at the vase on the table; the flowers were indeed starting to wilt. She turned back and smiled “Okay Mama! I’ll get the prettiest flowers ever!”

She took off racing to the field, beginning to pick the flowers that stood out and caught her attention.

‘Psst.’

It started with a whisper faintly appearing on the wind…

Leave a comment

57 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
The.Curly.One avatar
The.Curly.One
5 years ago

I really like this story!
Would it be ok if I did a video reading of this story?
I’ll be sure to credit you and put a links to here

txtraventxt
txtraventxt
6 years ago

This is an excellent story, and would do well with some ‘fluffing’, to make it longer. Add more detail, and i’ll give it 5 of 5 skulls.

BubblyShip avatar
BubblyShip
6 years ago

I like the beginning of the story, but dreams that turn out to be true are often too used in CreepyPasta stories, I can name 5 stories I have remembered reading this week with that cliche. You could have used something else, like she is repeating the same day over and over again, I don’t see that very often

Gritfoshiz avatar
Gritfoshiz
6 years ago

A wee bit stereotypical with the twist, but quite well-written. I give it a 7/10

Forgetmenot_ForgottenRegardless11003 avatar

Not so much as madness as it premonition which is a physic ability or power depending on how you see it this could have been labeled more on the lines of apocalyptic then madness.

The title was good and the usage of the title in the actual story was also good it draws people in to read and the black cloth figure is most likely either a shadow person such as the hat as for an example or it is literally death himself .

this kinda reminds me of final destination crappy movie by the way. But i did find the story to be worth the read and it was good so I’ll give it a 6 out of ten.

Insomniac_Ink avatar
Insomniac_Ink
6 years ago

I love it even though it’s a bit cliché.

horrormovielover96 avatar
horrormovielover96
6 years ago

absolutely love the story

Creepyman
Creepyman
6 years ago

Love the twist but next time have the main character talk like in a diary

CreepyEDM avatar
CreepyEDM
6 years ago

I like this one. It gives me a “groundhog day” feeling. Makes me think Larineth is tormented by reliving the same horrid day over and over. It also reminds me of another story where a fellow comes to the conclusion about the 4th or 5th time that he kept reliving the same day. Then he finds out that he is actually in Hell.

DarkPen avatar
DarkPen
6 years ago

The writer clearly has potential, but the story itself leaves much to be desired. Dreams that turn out to be real are an overused cliche in creepy-pastas, and horror in general. The story is much too short and undescriptive and it feels extremely rushed. Most of this story is left unexplained that leaves a pretentious taste in my mouth. The “black hooded figure” has been used so many times in so many stories it’s starting to get really old. Better explanation of the setting with more detailed imagery would make the story more effective. If the author would put a bit more time and thought into a story, it would most likely be enjoyable.

3/10

P
Perussi
6 years ago

….and that was when i kissed her

JokerKid48294 avatar
JokerKid48294
6 years ago

nice pasta,

ViolentViolet666 avatar
ViolentViolet666
6 years ago

I approved this. But I gotta make a comment here that has absolutely nothing to do with this pasta-
Everytime I see a pasta with ‘or so I thought’ I reject it. I have seen that phrase over a hundred times and it gets really stupid after a while. Kthxbai

JenDameronAndor avatar
JenDameronAndor
6 years ago

Loved it.

MsCreepyPasta913
MsCreepyPasta913
6 years ago

….and that was when i kissed her..

Mr.1987 avatar
Mr.1987
6 years ago

Very good twist. M night shamylan would approve.

jaderain92516 avatar
jaderain92516
6 years ago

This creepypasta has become one of my favorites! It’s deliciously twisted, and definitely creepy. Stories like this are the ones that feed my hunger for the paranormal. Nice Job!

cruzlorenzo avatar
cruzlorenzo
6 years ago

Mama
Now I will not sleep)

TheCryingAnger avatar
TheCryingAnger
6 years ago

Amazing, I loved it.

NightmareQueen avatar
NightmareQueen
6 years ago

Very unique story. I really like the way you made me feel as if I was the character hearing the “psst” sounds that gave a huge rush of fear to the main character. Amazing work. Keep it up ^-^.