It Hurts a Bit

4.5 0
30.7K
38
4 min

I don’t really remember what happened before it all went dark. I think I was in the car? All I can remember was the loud noise, some screech of metal on metal and then nothing. I woke up in this beeping place. I’m not sure where I am because I can’t seem to open my eyes. Silly, isn’t it? I can definitely feel the blanket on top of me and the beep-beep-beep beside me but I can’t open my eyes or talk or move.

People come to poke at me every now and then and I always try to talk to them.

“Can someone tell me what’s happened to my eyes? I can’t open them.” I try to say but my vocal cords don’t seem to want to cooperate so I guess I’ll just wait. These people seem to know what they’re doing, they poke in the same places every time, sometimes with their fingers, sometimes with a sharp-thing-with-no-name. They don’t say much, these people. Just come, poke, sigh, and go.

Someone opened my eye today and held a flashlight over it. It hurt and I couldn’t tell them to stop but just the movement of my eye felt amazing. Did you know that if you don’t open your eyes for a long time they can stick to your eyelids? I didn’t. Do now. It didn’t hurt though, it just felt good when it unstuck.

Someone’s been holding my hand and reading me stories. They’re seven chapters into Harry Potter and The Chamber Of Secrets now. I’d tell them that I’ve already read them but I can’t. They hold my hand sometimes and just sit with me so it’s just me, them and the beep-beep-beep. I think it’s my mom.

She was crying today. I wanted to make her happy and not sad but something’s definitely wrong with my arms because I couldn’t hug her better. I’ll have to tell her when I can that I wanted to help.

Some people came into the room while mom was crying, said that “she should leave”, that “she shouldn’t be here for this” but I didn’t recognise the voice and I didn’t want mom to go. I was scared. She cried louder, said “No, he’s still there.” And I wanted to shout “Of course I am, where would I have gone?” and everyone left.

Mom came back a bit later, sniffing. She sat down and started crying a bit louder, and louder, until she was almost screaming. And then she hit me, right in the face. I couldn’t tell what I’d done wrong but she hit me again and again and again and I couldn’t say sorry or cry or stop her, only sit there until the men came and took her away. Two of the men stayed though and they were mumbling and I couldn’t make out what they were saying until I caught the word “coma.”

I wanted to scream, shake, jump up and slap him in the mouth.

But I couldn’t. I couldn’t say “stop.” Couldn’t say “please, I’m here, I can hear you please don’t do this.” Nothing. I could only sit there while they poked me with a sharp-thing-with-no-name that must be a needle. The beep-beep-beep turned into a beep-beep and I felt myself get tired. I wanted to ask what they were doing. What they thought it would help to slow the beeping down but I couldn’t.

I was screaming at the top of my lungs but I wasn’t moving. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to fade away, I need to hug mom, tell her everything’s okay, tell her I’m here and I’m fine. But I don’t think I’ll get the chance now.

Beep.

Beep.

Leave a comment

38 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
H
Hufendy
5 years ago

Oh my god I cry. This can happen to us as well. I believe that. I think that this is real

horrormovielover96 avatar
horrormovielover96
6 years ago

Sad at the end, but loved the story none the less

1
1encoded1
6 years ago

Very well written. Great story

M
Mataratos
7 years ago

The eyeball thing…

PastaIsTasty
PastaIsTasty
7 years ago

Ooooh… HARRY POTTER! <3

S
spoiledginger
7 years ago

Haunting…this story is very haunting I thought. Raises many questions about what we might believe or think.

TheCreepLord avatar
TheCreepLord
7 years ago

I thought this was pretty terrible but to each his own

SheyGrell avatar
SheyGrell
7 years ago

Howdy.
I’ve done a narration of this story & would like to advertise it to y’all here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jofI7TnuCpE

I hope I did this justice. It really got under my skin in a way I never thought possible with this site.

L
leviathan
7 years ago

This one got me goosebumps. The fact that this could actually be reality gives me chills.

C
cionscorpion
7 years ago

I feel bad for him. I’ve always wondered how it felt dying. I’ve seen statements from people who were revived and they said it was “peaceful” and “free.” It makes me wonder if there really is an afterlife where people are reunited with their family, but the thing is. Is there an afterlife?

P
PureRaven
7 years ago

Couldn’t stop crying. And I was recording for YouTube. Had to reread a few times and had to pick the one that you could understand. Great story!

Rae
Rae
7 years ago

This was good until the point you lost me as a fan at the line, “I could only sit there while they poked me with the sharp thing that must be a needle…” I was gone at this point as a fan because
1. If this person in a coma existed currently at this time then we are to assume that he for some reason showed no activity on their brain scans and brain functioning tests which all long-term coma patients are given.
2. We are to assume that this patient was somehow miraculously surviving despite not getting any IV fluids. This is because if the patient did have an existing IV line, there would be no need for them to be poked multiple new times. Medical professionals can use the same IV line for very long periods of time,
3. If we are to assume this patient exists during a different time period and they are sustained without an existing IV line for hydration, then this should have been specified or hinted at in other ways more clearly.
4. Why and how were these unnamed people killing him/her by putting in a new IV line? This would be totally unnecessary if the patient were in an unresponsive coma as they could be just neglected and allowed to starve or die of dehydration. They could alternately turn off the ventilator to stop them from breathing as a faster and more humane option. We do not give a euthanasia medication of any kind at this time to comatose patients or any patients at all.
5. If this patient WERE able to breathe on their own and cutting his machines off would not quickly kill them, then there would be no argument against his not having brain activity and the mother wouldn’t ever be in this position to argue about whether he’s still there or not.

Basically this story had a good amount of potential to me and I could have easily accepted that for some reason he didn’t show any brain activity. However, when the other unrealistic things started piling up, I quit.

Beatengood
Beatengood
8 years ago

I’m literally wanting to be in a coma to see if that’s really how they feel!

Maureen
Maureen
8 years ago

Oh god, you actually made me cry……..

animegurl
animegurl
8 years ago

wow this is a really great pasta

PunkKawaii avatar
PunkKawaii
8 years ago

This wasn’t too much of a creepy pasta, more like a feels pasta. But it makes you wonder if all coma victims go through this sort of thing. Really good.

TheHypernix avatar
TheHypernix
8 years ago

Gem.

Devian115 avatar
Devian115
8 years ago

SPOILER ALERT BELOW

I loved this pasta it was sad at the end when he died but good keep it up

SimplyNova avatar
SimplyNova
8 years ago

You captured the feeling of being in a coma perfectly. I have been through it before when I was younger, and I could wake up but not actually be awake to the people around me. Beautiful creepy pasta.

RedPhoenix avatar
RedPhoenix
8 years ago

Interesting intro.

I believe it could be better if written as if spoken instead of being a narrative in the last part for suspense.

A very good work.