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Red Water

Author since 2015 1Story 0 Followers
Red Water

I was on a business trip about a year ago and I had to drive from Denver to LA. It was a long drive and I was growing tired of the road, so I stopped at the Holiday Inn hotel that was nearby. I walked up to the desk and rung the bell. Just seconds later, a man came out from the back room. “Hello sir, my name is John Shelby,” the man said, “How can I assist you?”

“I’m looking for a room,” I replied, “Are there any available?”

He searched in his computer to see if a room was available. To my luck, there was one more room left. He gave me a key and told me to have a nice night. I asked him to point me toward a vending machine and he did just that. When I walked to the vending machine, craving a bag of chips, I noticed a pool at the end of the hall. A lot of hotels have pools, there’s nothing strange about that. What got me confused was the fact that the water was red, blood red. I purchased my bag of chips and went back to the front desk where the man was still present.

“What’s up with that pool back there?” I asked him.

“What do you mean, sir?” He asked, a confused look grown upon his face.

“The water is red,” I said, “Why is it red?”

He took off his glasses and took a deep breath. “Well it’s kind of a freaky story,” he said, “Years ago, a woman was found brutally murdered in that pool and the water was contaminated with her blood.”

“Are you telling me that her blood is still in there?”

“No, no, of course not,” he said, “The water was removed and the pool was closed down. But many people say they see the pool filled with red water.” He put his glasses back on. “Personally, I had never seen it, but I think this hotel likes to play tricks with your mind.”

“So this place is haunted then?” He shook his head yes. I was shocked, not really scared, but just surprised because I had never had an experience like that before.

I went up to my room, took a well needed hot shower and I lay in bed. I couldn’t sleep for some reason, my mind was so curious and it had so many questions that needed answered. I got out of bed, put on a shirt and I walked out into the hallway. I walked down the hall and headed toward the pool. It was quiet out in the halls, I guess nobody else had trouble sleeping. I was laughing at myself when I realized I was in my underwear, so it was a good thing that nobody was out in the halls at that time. I did believe that I saw a woman cross from one room to the other. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, I just figured it was another guest.

When I reached the floor of the pool, I was able to see the blood red water even from way down the hall. I passed the front desk, nobody was there. I then passed the vending machine and I stopped directly in front of the door that would lead to the pool. I tried the door, but it was locked. I don’t think I would’ve gone in even if it wasn’t. I looked through the large window that showed the blood contaminated pool. It looked as if the pool had been closed for a long time. I looked behind me, down the hall to the elevator. I was imagining a scene from “The Shining” when the stream of blood came shooting out of the elevator. I had a feeling that I would see something similar to that, but I didn’t. Instead, I saw a woman, standing at the edge of the pool and looking as if she was about ready to jump in. She was completely nude, not a single piece of clothing on her body. When she snapped her head my way, I jumped back in fear and I walked back to my room as fast as I could, taking the stairs next to the vending machine instead of the elevator.

Hours later, I woke up to my alarm going off. I took a shower, threw on some clothes and I walked down to the first floor for breakfast. After breakfast, I was ready to check out and get back on the road. I decided to take one last look at the pool before I leave. I walked slowly pass the front desk, pass the vending machine and to the pool. I was still freaked out by what happened the night before as I looked through the window. I was surprised to see that the pool was empty. There was no red water and there was no woman.

I walked back to the front desk where a woman was working. “Is John Shelby available?” I asked.

She gave me a confused look. “Excuse me?” She said.

“John Shelby,” I repeated. “He was working here last night.”

“John Shelby died back in 1982,” she said. “He killed himself after murdering a woman, right there in that pool.” She laughed. “Is this a joke, sir?”

“Yeah,” I said, forcing out a laugh. “It was just a joke.” I returned my key and I left the building. I got back on the road, never forgetting about what had happened that night in that hotel.

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3 months ago

Yummy pasta, I hate the holiday inn

JenDameronAndor avatar
6 years ago

Great twist at the end.
Loved it!

SirLandsman avatar
7 years ago

The ending was a good and fitting twist but it does seem a tad overused. I still love the story and rated it 4/5. I found to spelling errors which is also a positive. If I were to suggest something, it would be add a little build up to the end or maybe through the reader off from being able to guess the end. Another good end would have been something like the man himself was a killer or was the one who died all those years ago.

Please Note: I am not criticizing you in any way! I just wish to give my opinion and help in any way that I can to help expand your talent 🙂

outcast97 avatar
7 years ago

i enjoy theis stories they make me sleepy for some reason

IamJewishJesus avatar
7 years ago

5/5. Nice twist at the end

7 years ago

Great story! Creepy and a nice twist at the end.

TediousMisconduct avatar
7 years ago

I wasn’t expecting that ending 8/10

7 years ago

Scary at the pool [spoiler][/spoiler]

Scavy avatar
7 years ago

I definitely pictured Evan Peters as John Shelby…

7 years ago

Damn, I wasn’t expecting that! well done

dheng1972 avatar
7 years ago

Well done!

7 years ago

I love the ending the ending was my favourite part I love story’s that do that for example R.L steins goosebumps books it reminded me of one of his books but overall amazing 5/5 stars

Mishamigo avatar
7 years ago

amazing plot twist

Lonleygirlwholikescreepypasta avatar

amazing plot twist

Lonleygirlwholikescreepypasta avatar

amazing plot twist. 4 stars
btw 4 stars is all anyone ill ever get from me

Farad avatar
7 years ago

Nice twist at last. overall 5/5. very convincing plot and storytelling

7 years ago

somewhat cheesy in a way I see it beautifully written with a bit of grammar mistakes. But overall it’s an interesting story.

Starlightdeadnight avatar
7 years ago

Nice story. That plot twist at the end tho gave me a scare. Good job!

JackTheClown avatar
7 years ago


Mr.potato avatar
7 years ago

Pretty cool twist. Great job. 5/5