Blurred background image
5 min read

To Watch the Pit; The Demon Comes

Author since 2013 1Story 0 Followers
To Watch the Pit; The Demon Comes

I’ve lost control in every sense of the word. The steering wheel is slipping loosely through my crimson splattered hands and the cry of a father’s daughter screaming in agony echoes in my conscious. The knife on the passenger seat is sliding back and forth across the leather like a euphoric heretic mid ritual as the grim world outside is reflecting onto its scarlet tainted surface. The rain is growing greater and greater and my car’s wheels barely maintain their connection onto the road as I swerve down a curving beast of a mountain towards my only escape; a bridge across the Hades ravine.

As I finally eye that sacred bridge behind a veil of the brooding torrent of nature; I enter the infinite darkness of a tunnel where my headlights but barely pierce its shroud of shadows. I’m shocked when I see light not from the end of the tunnel I drive towards but from the end behind me. They glow like the eyes of a snarling beast and they rush ever closer with the roar of a vrooming engine; a Hell beast that is undoubtedly ridden by a grieving yet vengeful father. I slam my tattered work boot downward towards the accelerator with a force fueled not by anger but pure terror. There is no possible way he could know; he did not see what I saw!

The rain splatters across my windshield like a despicable flashback of moments only earlier as my car rides out of the tunnel uncontrollably. I barely wrest it back into my control before I’m startled by my pursuer right behind me. The car whips around the final turn of the mountain road as time blurs away like the forest just down below. The bridge! It’s right there; I can already imagine the relief of freedom from this night of horrors! Soon; however, my head bashes into the car window with a force of unbridled fury and my car skids wildly like some frightened horse. He rammed me! My head violently snaps away from the window and the car slides across the road to a complete stop. Is that the bridge? Oh god. Time finally collapses upon itself as it freezes when the drips of my bleeding head countdown towards the arrival of those glaring headlights crashing my car down into the pit of Hades ravine.

I wake up, sadly not from a dream, but into a nightmare. A lightning strike of anguish rides across my entire body as I can no longer distinguish my legs from the mashed wreck of my car. The storm above sparks alive with brilliant flashes and a cacophony of hollow booms. The rain has made the dirt around me into wet muck and mud that violates my body with filth. I can’t see a thing behind the assault of the downpour and the unbearable waves of pain from my crushed legs. I do; however, notice one blurry visage that sends a much different tingle of despair up my mangled spine. It was him; the father standing there on top the edge of the ravine. I did not need a sight of his eyes to feel them burning into my skin like scorching flames. In his hand was undeniably a gun; hopefully loaded to end my suffering.

Yet nothing happens. He just stares and even through the quakes of the sky’s great shouts; I hear him whistle away into the chilly wind. I shake in panic when I gaze in horror as the silhouette of a little girl clutches to his overbearing figure. Even with the curtain of rain; her eyes somehow glow lifelessly with an aura of soul shattering death. The world vividly bursts into light by the wish of nature’s ever growing storm and I only momentarily see her blood soaked dress briskly flow in the whispering wind like the cloak of a reaper. I can only mutter one word into the maelstrom of the black depths of the clouds and sky, “How?” My answer is only their figures slowly backing away from the ridge; where they go off into god knows what unheavenly place. I do not even hear the sound of a car’s engine whirring away into the grim world I shall soon leave.

There is only the storm now and I am trapped in Hades ravine as the rain only grows greater and exponentially greater. It trickles down from every pore and orifice of the vast sky as a final shower of tears for my demise. There is reason for why I raced down the harrowing corners and turns of that mountain now vanishing from the horizon. Soon the rain shall fill Hades ravine to its very brim and I will drown within it; where the bridge will sink under the burden of water just beyond my dying grasp.

I fear for what may come after.

Leave a comment

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Slayer200 avatar
5 years ago

i found the concept of this interesting but it could have used a bit more at the end but it was still a good pasta.

ViolentViolet666 avatar
7 years ago

The language and the content seem to clash too much for this to make any sense. Am I supposed to be laughing? Cuz that’s what I did when I read it..

joolcreep1996 avatar
7 years ago

Well written and few grammatical errors which is highly appreciated. Good story as well!

7 years ago

BOOOOOOOOOOORING!! I could not even read it, what is up with the pretentious language? Proper English does not need so much embellishment, it just throws you off, makes the story pointless and not scary at all…

KryssiPasta avatar
8 years ago

Nice language. I would have liked to know more about why he slaughtered the girl (though you do a good job of hinting at her being a demon). I would actually really like to know how he got there and why it was his duty to kill the monster. Basically, just make this into a novel and sell it to me.

8 years ago

Good story tough too much arbitrary poetic rhetoric for my liking.

BlackestNightBatman avatar

Wow. Just wow. Truly terrifying, although the use of middle English words was a tad unnecessary. This is still one of the best I have ever read, albeit a bit on the short side.