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2 min read

Whistling

Author since 2014 1Story 0 Followers
Whistling

The whistle is considered one of the happiest sounds on earth by many. I’m not one of those people. I hate the sound of whistling. Another thing I hate is the tune of “Oh, Susanna.” I can’t bare to hear the two combined. Not after that night.

It started on the night before my final, I was only in highschool, and I was trying to pull an all-nighter studying for it. While studying, I began to whistle absent-mindedly. It started with just random notes, nothing too advanced, then slowly I began whistling melodies that were familiar to me, “Pop Goes the Weasel,” “Ring Around the Rosies,” and then finally “Oh, Susanna.”

While whistling I heard the same tune being whistled behind me. I turned around quickly to the the sight of nothing. I continued studying, thinking it was just my imagination, and again, I began whistling, picking up where I left off. My lips soon got tired, so I started to hum. To my absolute horror, the whistling started up again. I turned around again, afraid for my own sanity, but this time I saw a shadow on my wall. I thought nothing of it at the time and turned back to my studies.

A scream I couldn’t control escaped my throat.

In front of me was a shadow, my shadow. I turned around, hoping to see nothing, but to my dismay the shadow seemed darker. The whistling picked back up, and the shadow seemed to become solid.

I backed up as the faceless thing began to gain features. A logo slowly molded itself into the thing’s torso, eyes, ears, hair a nose and mouth molded themselves into the face. It looked like an exact replica of me. It took a step toward me and I blacked out. I later woke up and the shadow was nowhere to be seen.

Ever since then, I have hated the sound of whistling and “Oh, Susanna,” but even worse, I’ve had periods were I black out and wake up with blood on my hands or holding someone’s organs or something horrible. I remember nothing from this but one thing, I remember singing “Oh, Susanna.”

Oh, Susanna, don’t you cry for me. . .

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arez_12 avatar
arez_12
5 years ago

good story but not that creepy

AaronPen avatar
AaronPen
6 years ago

I love how this played out, especially how you incorporated an everyday activity as the horror tool. Good Job, keep up the good work.

Chaseti127 avatar
Chaseti127
6 years ago

THATS FUBBERNUCKING AWESOME!!!

SwampChicken101 avatar
SwampChicken101
6 years ago

short pastas are always the best!!!!

LookBehindYou... avatar
LookBehindYou...
6 years ago

It would have been better with more details but all in all, it was pretty good.

QKI
QKI
6 years ago

It was good but it would have been better if he would have woken up with blood on his hand from the start. I, for me, would prefer a different song such as ring around the rosie… But overall not bad

Omfi avatar
Omfi
7 years ago

More details and needs gore

CRIMSONBEAST avatar
CRIMSONBEAST
7 years ago

really good

Who_needs_sleep avatar
Who_needs_sleep
7 years ago

Good to slip in that few seconds before you go to bed.

Anathema__ avatar
Anathema__
7 years ago

Eh, It was very choppy. There wasn’t really much detail~ More edge.

TheMadGamer avatar
TheMadGamer
8 years ago

I agree with Dragonkin87.

KryssiPasta avatar
KryssiPasta
8 years ago

Nice juxtaposition! I would have liked it to have a bit more to it, I feel like it ended before I was ready for it to end. Keep writing!

1
1fkedworld
8 years ago

Not sure.

D
Dragonkin87
8 years ago

Decent pasta. The ending was a little more of a sledgehammer than it had to be. The whole [spoiler]holding someone’s organs[/spoiler] thing could have been left out of that sentence and i think it would have been a little more powerful – let the reader’s imagination fill in the ‘something horrible’.

TheCheshireCat avatar
TheCheshireCat
8 years ago

Bystander42 I agree. The story isn’t good till the end, it makes you wonder.

RedPhoenix avatar
RedPhoenix
8 years ago

Ending seems rushed. Holding someone’s organs? It could be interpreted in so many ways, the literal musical contraption, “inappropriate” acts for minors, or internal organs of organisms. I know which is which is obvious but this pasta could really use some gore.

Killingz avatar
Killingz
8 years ago

It was okay but why that song? I could think of something creepier

TheGodElement avatar
TheGodElement
8 years ago

I think the last bit was a little too much. I don’t think adding the whole organs thing was necessary.. :/

crazycatlady66 avatar
crazycatlady66
9 years ago

not bad could be better but well done

bystander42 avatar
bystander42
9 years ago

I can’t really say that its bad it just good till[spoiler]the ending where I’ve had periods were I black out and wake up with blood on my hands or holding someone’s organs [/spoiler] it really feal eh good but nothing to go crazy for.