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4 min read

The Patron Saint of the Good-Looking Corpse

The Patron Saint of the Good-Looking Corpse

“Come in friend and take a seat. My name? Call me Jack….I run this establishment. I’ve been working this bar for the better part of a hundred years. Got a nice stage, we got entertainment later if you’re sticking around?”

“Uh-huh. Well do you have time for a drink? Okay. What was that? The hundred years thing ? Yeah, friend, I’m a little older than I look. I’m a demon”

“I can tell from your expression that you’ve never bumped into one of us before. We do exist. I guarantee that by the end of this conversation, I’ll have swung your opinion. Don’t worry, I’m not a threat. Hardly good for business.”

“And my business is important to me. On that stage you’ll see some of the best talent in the biz. I consider myself a ‘talent scout’ without equal.”

“I specialise in contracts for fame and fortune. I can give the lucky individual ten years of their dreams and then I come to collect. In return they play at my club for the rest of eternity. They almost never think twice. One catch, though. I can only make this deal with them whilst they are 17.”

” I don’t know why, I don’t make the rules.”

“Who do I have? You probably know a few of them. The first guy I signed was something really special. Created an entire genre by himself. Kid by the name of Robert, a real demon on the guitar, if you’ll pardon the pun. It seems everyone and his brother knew about our deal, though. ”

“Yeah, the crossroads thing. Well, it did make subject easier when I was talking to later pitches. Thing with Robert is he wasn’t ready to give it up when I came to collect, so I had to grease the wheels, so to speak. Strychine poisoning can be incredibly painful, or so I hear.”

“This is the thing. They are happy for the trade at 17, but the moment they hit 27 it starts to consume them. it becomes all they can think about. Some will use it to drive them to write as much as they can. Others will try and use the as many distractions as possible to not think about it”

“You know, drugs, alcohol, women. The good things in life. Need a refill there, champ?”

“This one guy, Kurt, now he surprised me. He worked out how to summon me, against my will I might add. Yanked me right into his goddamned front-room. Just as I’m about to give the shaggy haired fool a piece of my mind, he pulls out a shotgun and says that he is breaking the deal”

“Blew his brains out right in front of me. I mean, come on?! The deals are binding. Killing yourself just gets you here faster. I am freaking demon. My kind invented fine print.”

“Another cat I should mention is Jimi. He was a rare one I tell you. The kid was tripping so hard when he got here, it took us a week to convince him he was dead. All he cared about was as long as he had a guitar to play. Now he plays every Friday night, packs the place out everytime”


“Come on, I’ve worked hard for them, and now they work hard for me. ”

“This bar is something I take pride in. I have some of the best entertainment in the world, and here I showcase it to any who know how to get here.”

“You don’t remember how you got here. Yeah, i’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. Something tells me you’ve got a little more free time than you realise.”

“Fancy another drink?”

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OcelotRyuu avatar
7 years ago

Loved this. The narrator is a very likable character despite introducing himself as a demon. The story is well written and shows a lot of reasearch and effort went into writing it. And the age detail sent chills up my spine… [spoiler]I’m turning 27 in about 4 months you see… :O[/spoiler] 5/5 stars, going to check now to see if you’ve written more 🙂

7 years ago

I wasn’t expecting the “27 Club” to be a subject of one of these stories.

Omfi avatar
7 years ago

The daemon seems nice I might decome friends with him if he existed

7 years ago

Loved it!! Keep writing!!!!

VIDUR avatar
7 years ago

Is it real

7 years ago

Enjoyed this very much. Nice twist. Well written. A lovely breeziness that enhances the creep factor

KiwibuddyMC avatar
8 years ago

I really liked this. It made me think about all that, and my family actually runs in the music buisness. Mom and dad are musicians, and they basically said that its a hard fame buisness. But considering how all the kids at my school just shrug off most bullies, I always felt that just couldn’t be it. Haters in the crowd aren’t usually as loud as the fans, right? It sent a shiver down my spine when I realized this is a suprisingly good theory. Good job, 9/10, just because I’m not sure if the person they’re talking to is going to make a deal or not.

8 years ago

loved it

OliviaRomineD avatar
8 years ago

Short. Suspenseful. Great! I loved it! Great Pasta!

IAmBread avatar
8 years ago

Well that was enlightening. 8/10 breads.

Killingz avatar
9 years ago

I don’t know about this one… it wasn’t bad but wasn’t good so I’m not going to rate it.

9 years ago

Nice chat with the demon.. wonder how it felt

10 years ago

Makes you think.
Good job.

10 years ago

That is just fucked

10 years ago

This is an excellent story with an amazing idea behind all of it. I’ve shared this story with all my good friends and even my own mother loves this read. It’s about time someone made a story about the infamous “27 Club”. Good job on a delicious pasta!

Kimo avatar
11 years ago

This is informative in two ways, one being the history of dead musicians, the other that not all demons fuck with you in some demonic way with random pentagrams thrown in.