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16 min read

Author since 2015 9Stories 1 Follower

-11/8/12 –

Let me start by saying, thanks for reading. You guys have been amazing to me. I started this blog when I wasn’t even sure what blogs were, or what I wanted to do with mine. I never dreamed that in just five short years, I’d have such a large, and loyal, group of readers. Even the trolls, I thank you as well, because every time I get a comment, my hit count goes up and that adds to the revenue I collect from my sponsors. Each and every one of you who have read, liked, disliked, commented or flamed has helped me go from just another college kid to a person who can make a living doing what he loves; writing.

Anyway, I’m saying all this because I wanted to announce that I’ll be moving to a new URL starting in two weeks. I’ve decided that today will be my last post on this blog because there’s going to be a ton of work involved in my next venture. I’ll be joining the ever-expanding ranks of the professional bloggers on I cannot say enough how thrilled I am to be working with these amazing people. Blogging never felt like a real job before, even with the ad revenue I was generating, but now, now I feel like I’ve found my calling. I’ll be writing the same stuff I’ve always written, but now it’s actually my job.

My old content will still be at this url, but new content will be available at starting in two weeks. I’ll still be blogging about as often, but it will be there, not here. I wanted to move my entire back catalog with me, but apparently there’s some potential legal snarls there, and it might work out as too expensive. So, loyal readers, please bookmark the above link and be sure to share it with people you know who read my page on a perhaps more sporadic level than you and might miss this message.

That’s all I have to talk about today, but once again I want to say a sincere thanks to all of you who have made this blog what it is. I can write all day until my fingers are numb, but a blog is nothing without readers.

So, really, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. All of you.



Well, here it is.

Officially, CH’s page on has gone live.

Some of you might think that because I’ve moved, I’m gonna start holding back a bit with my viewpoints as to what’s happening, but really, guys. The fantastic folks at would not have wanted me if they didn’t want my opinions. So, if you thought I was gonna start pulling my punches or changing my opinions, think again. Sorry, trolls. Then again, no, I’m not sorry, and really, you aren’t either. You come here to be entertained by me, anyway. I know you do, no need to lie about it.

Last week, as I’m sure many of you have heard, the lie-spreading time waster known as Wikipedia got hit with a massive hack and was offline for over 48 hours. I want to stress that I was not involved, though I have nothing but love for the hackers that accomplished it. Hopefully soon the web’s most infamous deceit factory will be completely unable to spew its filth. I am not in contact with the hackers but I hope their next target is

As I’m sure my readers know, I cannot believe how easy it is to mislead so many people at once. Make a website, get some views, suddenly you’re an authority. Wikipedia allows its readers to generate content. How do they know the content being generated isn’t a lie? Sure, they have to provide citations, but a citation can just be a link to another lying website, like snopes.

How do I know snopes is a group of lying scumbags? Simple. Just go check their page on Impetus Sand. They say Impetus Sand is a myth. A fraud, conducted by conspiracy theorists. Folks, you know that’s ridiculous. I have seen Impetus Sand in action with my own eyes, and I’m certain you all have, as well.

In fact, just the other day I was speaking with a man while riding the bus, and it hit me halfway through the conversation that I was speaking with a man who did not exist. He might have existed once, but no longer. He was a construct; a being formed from Impetus Sand. What tipped me off was that at one point he stopped, mid-sentence, blinked his eyes, and started his entire sentence over again, same inflection and everything. He had to reset himself. I see it all the time, but you don’t have to believe me. Just check out this link at and have a look at what Dr. Magnus Ellison has to say about it. He’s looked at Impetus Sand under a microscope. Wonder how long it will be before the government disappears him.

Anyway, my point is that sites like Wikipedia, Snopes, and others exist mainly to keep us coddled, with the wool over our eyes, never questioning the official story. Even google gives you the hits they want you most to see first. They have created a generation of people who will only believe something if one of these “reputable” websites tell them it’s true. What is true anymore? It’s certainly not “verifiable fact” because there’s nothing verifiable in anything either site gives us, while stuff like Impetus Sand is proven and verifiable, but you won’t catch these sites talking to you about it.



Happy New Year!

I hope you didn’t get too drunk night before last. Your friendly neighborhood blogger might have had just a wee too much of my uncle’s patented North Dakota Sour Mash, and well, yesterday I didn’t have the will to write.

This was not a great Christmas season for me, and I don’t have any fear of telling you why. Most of you know I’ve gotten death threats before, and to be honest, I’m proud of them, because being threatened just tells me that they consider me a threat. But over the Christmas season, the threats started being launched at my new employers at, including a virus that got sent to my bosses’ computers. The link I provided last week at is down now, and in fact, when I google “Magnus Ellison” I get zero hits. They’ve done it; they’ve unpersoned him. I have little doubt that in a few months, he or someone suspiciously similar will return to his job as though nothing happened, and will deny that such a thing as Impetus Sand exists. But it won’t be him, not really. His wife will call him the same man, his kids will call him Daddy, but he’ll just be a construct.

They want to shut down blogs like mine for telling the truth. If this blog and others like it weren’t out there spreading the truth, they could just keep saying anything they wanted to say about what’s really going on behind closed doors within the most secret offices of the government, and the public would gladly lap it up.

Of course, pains are being taken to ensure that they can’t find where I am. There are umpteen different proxies and redirects surrounding my IP address, which changes every day. That’s one of the reasons I wanted to work with, but, it appears that they’ve managed to infiltrate their offices somehow.

I’m going to be speaking with the CEO at to ensure that this sort of thing can be prevented in the future. I’m also going to refrain from posting links in my blogs from now on. If I have something to share, I’m now only going to do it through private messages. This way I will also be able to ensure that people who are clicking on my links are actually interested and reading what’s there.

I’ve decided I’m not going to put up a new post until I can be assured by’s security team that the anonymity I’ve fought so hard to maintain will not be compromised. I’m sorry for the upcoming lengthy silence from me, but I’ll be back, I promise.



I had an interesting conversation with my brother-in-law today. He likes a good conspiracy theory himself, or at least, he used to. Today he seemed different. More withdrawn. I brought up my old post on the Orpheus Device, which, as some of you may remember, casts a field over you so that literally you are a walking radio to them. You don’t have to use a cell phone or speak in a place where there’s technology around. All you have to do is just speak. Of course, I have screens up around my house which filter sound and add white noise to anything they here, so we were safe to talk, but he still acted like he didn’t want to talk about it.

He even seemed confused when I mentioned that I had moved my blog from my old site to this one. Almost seemed like he didn’t know what a blog was, though I know he’s read it before.

In fact, he is far from the first person that’s started reacting strangely when I talk about my latest online discoveries. Yesterday my neighbor gave me the strangest look when I mentioned Wikipedia, as if she’d never heard of it. Hmm.

You really gotta wonder what’s happening. Why would they be hiding websites that they themselves own and maintain, and use to spread their lies?

Side note: for those of you who might be wondering, yes, I have spoken with the security team at and they assure me that their network has been all tightened up. There have been no incidents with other contributors to their site, or to the site itself, so I’m back in business.



It is becoming increasingly clear to me that my friends and family have been gotten to. I don’t think all of them have been replaced with constructs, though I know a few have. This is a mild concern, because it makes me feel like they’re closing in on my location.

My wife started acting abnormally when she switched to a new moisturizer. I don’t know how many times I warned her to never do that, in fact to pretty much only use what hygiene products you have to, and even then to make sure you buy them from places like the Dollar Store or other places that it’s unfashionable to shop in. Nanoseeds are in everything, these days. The more you use it, the more you likely have in you, altering the way you think, getting you to suppress the desire to think too much about what you hear, what you read. I’m sure I have some Nanoseeds in me; it’s unavoidable. I tried for a few months boiling and refrigerating jugs of tap water and only drinking that, but I kept running out of the boiled stuff and needing to drink something, so I’d break down and have a glass of water straight from the tap. I do my best to counter-act whatever Nanoseeds I might have by relentlessly fighting against any urge I might have to just forget about this stuff for a while and enjoy life.

In fact, even today I find myself just plain tired of having to worry about everything like this. I find myself wanting to just say “screw it”, take down my screens, cancel my blog and just live like the other sheep live. After all, would it be so bad? I know it would improve my marriage, would improve my relations with others in my neighborhood.

But that’s not me thinking that. It’s the Nanoseeds.

In fact, I think those Nanoseeds are starting to convince people that the things I blog about, even the stuff that other websites acknowledge as true, don’t actually exist. My wife blew up on me the other day during an argument, telling me that there is no such thing as She honestly believes that no such website exists. I offered to fire up my laptop and show her, and she just yelled “There you go with that laptop bullshit again!” She didn’t even want to look.

My brother-in-law won’t even speak to me anymore. He might actually be a construct now, but if he were, wouldn’t he be trying to influence me away from my so-called delusions instead of breaking off contact? No, I don’t think they’ve gotten to him. I think he’s just becoming more afraid of what they can do.



I am becoming troubled in regard to my new employers. I signed on with because it was clear that they knew and understood the dangers of the items I mention frequently on my blog; the Orpheus Device, Impetus Sand, Nanoseeds, even acknowledging that the biggest, most frequent news sites online are all owned and managed by the same group, only reporting the items they approve.

Lately, though, I’m not so sure but what hasn’t been bought. I was recently warned about my content. My content hasn’t changed in five years, so I don’t know why they’d hire me if they think they can make me say different things from what I believe.

I’m not going to back down. It’s important for people to know this stuff. There are so few of us who have discovered the truth, so many who would rather just swallow whatever pablum they’re given and go along to get along. I thought would help me to spread the word. Now I’m starting to wonder if they’re not part of the problem.



This will be my last post on A representative of theirs called me today. He didn’t even have to tell me; I could hear it in his voice. He was a construct.

I’m done with this company. I’ll be registering a new url soon. I’ve already reserved it, so my readers, if any of you can actually still see my content, can find me at



Tell me something, people. You can see my posts, right? You have computers, right? You surf the net, right?

I ask because today my wife told me today that she was through with my delusions, that she was taking me to see someone, that she would prove to me once and for all that this silly thing called the “internet” was not real and that in fact, “computers” are giant machines that only the government and prestigious universities can use, so the idea of a laptop was absurd. She told me that my laptop is only a briefcase.

It’s happening. They’re unpersoning me. First they got me questioning myself on the bigger stuff, wondering if Nanoseeds, Impetus Sand or Orpheus Devices even exist, and now making me question even if I have readers, a blog, or so much as a computer.

I refuse to allow myself to question it. My wife is the delusional one, not me. She’s the one who let more Nanoseeds get inside her thanks to that new moisturizer brand. It’s not going to work. They’re not going to unperson me.



Out of nowhere I got an email from my brother-in-law. He wants to meet with me. He wants to discuss a few things he’s learned and make sure I can defend myself. He apologized for disappearing, but explained that he realized he was being followed around on a daily basis by men who were doing their best to look innocuous but were always there, every time he examined his surroundings.

I hope this isn’t a trick. I’m going to meet with him today but I am truly afraid that this isn’t what it seems. If all goes well, I’ll blog about it later.

If I don’t post again, you’ll know that they finally got to me.



“Thanks for showing us this, Mrs. Lyman.”

“It’s so strange, Dr. Winthrop. My husband was a normal man until five and a half years ago, and then he started talking about strange things like laptops, and blogs and this Internet or Interweb thingy. He would spend hours at a time just staring at an open briefcase, as though there were people in there talking to him.”

“Not talking to him, Mrs. Lyman. Reading what he supposedly wrote and replying. We’ve seen this delusion in others, a sort of mass psychosis which affects only about one out of a hundred people, but the delusion they share is so real to them that when they discuss it with each other, you could almost believe they’re talking about something real. Of course, in most cases, it’s harmless. They just think they’re getting the latest updates on their favorite singers, or actors. They think they’re sharing photos or brief statements with each other. But in other cases, such as your husband’s, the delusion turns paranoid. But rest assured, your husband will get the treatment he needs.”

“Thank you Doctor. You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that.”


Update: 06/29/13

Log: Dr. E.D. Winthrop

Subject: Walt Lyman

Patient is secure and his synaptic patterns are being loaded into our machines as we speak. Will have new Impetus Sand simulacrum created for him by tomorrow.

Lyman believed his screens protected him from our Orpheus Devices and that his brother-in-law believed him, when in fact Dan Orton has been our agent from the beginning, as some of you reading this might already know.

Orton managed to work around Lyman’s efforts to alert Linda, Orton’s sister and Lyman’s wife, of our existence. Her Nanoseeds have convinced her that she has delivered her husband into psychiatric care, and that the internet, even laptops, do not exist. It may be necessary to program all Nanoseeds to believe this within the next five years, as more and more websites like are springing up. I recommend once again cutting off the source of such sites rather than simply taking over each site as we discover them.

Linda Lyman is the 1,395,983th individual we have had to reprogram to believe that the Internet does not exist. Eventually one of them will say the wrong thing and alert more people to our presence.

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6 years ago

UHM i love this so much
i love the st yle..
i love the way you had him be a blogger..
i’ve actually read this story before a couple months ago and never commented on it — but i waas eager to get it started again because it is just so good..

Deathbylava avatar
6 years ago

Tasty pasta, but the idea of the internet not existing was uncomfortable. That wife was a amsh person for all I care. But, other than that, Tasty pasta! 8/10

Cassini avatar
6 years ago

Only problem I have with this pasta… 1,395,983RD Not 1,395,983TH

vizthex avatar
6 years ago

Reminds me of 1984. Great pasta.

nomoresweetdreams avatar
7 years ago

what a good way to start paranoia 🙂 🙂 great idea of conspiracy but not that original, the brainwashing with nanoseeds and kinda have a big brother vibe for me; it is still good to read though 🙂

HellIsEmptyAndAllTheDemonsAreHere avatar
7 years ago

Alex Jones would take this as a factual expose. They insert the nanoseeds when you sign up for Obamacare! Thank god for drumpf!

7 years ago

Shit y’all better believe big brother and the eye in the sky are always watching they don’t like when people get to knowing to much say the wrong shit NSA or other government security groups will swoop in and shut your ass right on up

8 years ago

Well written, but I personally dont find it creepy. The whole thing seems a bit pointless. Why bother tricking people into thinking the internet doesnt exist?

8 years ago

What a wonderful post! This could easily become the beginning of a distopian society novel…

Dome515 avatar
8 years ago

This was a good pasta. A bit repetitive on the government thing though, those stories happen way too much in the wrong way. You did it write though. 4.9/5 really cool.

thatcreepytrainer avatar
8 years ago

/╲/\〳 ᴼᴼ ౪ ᴼᴼ 〵/\╱\
the creepy spider enjoys this pasta he is gifting you with 5/5 score

OliviaRomineD avatar
8 years ago

Worth the read! I loved it and great work overall!

BossSquirtleTCG avatar
8 years ago


wingswithwings avatar
8 years ago

5/5. great pasta. I like the ending. Sounds like a book i read once.

EarlGrey avatar
8 years ago

Makes me question if my laptop i’m on right now is just a briefcase. O_O

BlackVortex avatar
8 years ago

Very well written! Reminds me of a creepypasta called, “Psychosis.”

BlakeDatch avatar
8 years ago

I love these science fiction creepypastas. To me, they induce a sense of paranoia in the readers, in addition to the heebie-jeebies typically associated with horror stories. Plus, the new ideas are cool. For instance, wouldn’t it be awesome if things like laptops or Wikipedia existed? Sign me up.