Like Icarus, I Fell

I sat in awe of the message in front of me, illuminating the wall behind my desk in unholy light. “Suspended from further work-related activities.” At first, I was shocked by the sudden change in employment status my life held. Next, I was apprehensive that this was merely a mistake from the Human Resources Department. I grabbed my phone and dialed the number with vindictive fervor, indignant by the way I was treated by the company I slaved away at for 17 years! 17!

When the clerk picked up the phone, I began ranting about how unfair it was that I, a veteran of Georgina’s Automobile Company of 17 years, was given an email about the end of my career. I spat away all my built-up venom and after 4 minutes of anger, I sat down at my desk confident that I had gotten my point across.

Then I heard the clerk state in a deadpan voice, almost as if my recent barrage of insults hadn’t hurt him the least bit, “Mr. Beaucannon, the email was not a mistake, our reception services no longer employ you and will receive your last paycheck in two weeks. I understand your concern with the sudden act but we hope you understand since in recent years, we have had some tough times and needed to let go of a few of our me-“. I hung up the phone, unwilling to listen to a second more of his drivel.

I phoned my boss, hands shaking as tears began to roll down my face. As soon as the call was answered, I immediately cried out to Lewis, “Please, Lou… you can’t do this to me. I am 35 with no other job experience. Getting fired will kill me. Please reconside-” He cut me off.

“And do what Felix? Let you run down our services again and again? You do realize that you are our worst and laziest reception worker? Whenever you cover your shift, customer complaints go through the roof and we receive multiple employee complaints that you, Felix, are harassing them! You cause most of the workplace drama, ruin the tranquility of this office, and have no skills to bring to the team whatsoever! You are a piece of human trash to think that for even a second you deserved this job! The only reason I put up with you was because Sue died and even then I put up with too much! Go fuck yourself, Felix!” Then he hung up.

That night was spent with a box of tissues, a warm bath, a good cry, and a good drink.

I wake up in the morning on my floor, surrounded by emptied bottles of liquor and soda. I groggily clamber onto my couch and wonder about what to do with my life. I have a good 14,000 dollars in savings, a run-down studio apartment, a Kia, and no skills to market.

I wondered on the subject of suicide. It could end things and end my life on a dramatic note. But in the end, I decided against it. If I was to die, I would want to die in glory, like a Spartan!

I sat up and scrolled through my phone and saw that some of my old friends were going to climb Mount Gora, a mountain known for its difficult landscape and challenging maneuvers. At first, I groaned and rolled my eyes before stumbling upon a footnote stating that the first group to make it to the top of the mountain would win 120,000 dollars each.

My mouth went agape, pupils dilated, tongue clicked, eyebrows scrunched, and fingers curled before immediately signing up for the contest. I contacted my buds Levi and Percy to see if they were interested in taking on this challenge with me and to my delight, they were!

I jumped from the couch, before immediately rushing off to the bathroom. I was a grooming machine! I shaved my face, legs, forearms, unmentionables, nose, and ears. I took a long shower before coming out smelling like a fresh carnation. I cleaned my teeth and fixed my hair with gel before exiting the bathroom like a new man!

I got dressed before going out to the nearest shop specializing in climbing gear and bought the cream of the crop with my savings. I was unstoppable!

In the next couple of weeks, I continued to burn through my savings like never before, using only the bare minimum on the essentials to leave enough for hiking and mountain climbing lessons. Gas, water, and heat were all luxuries I didn’t have the time nor currency to afford. I sold my furniture and my old clothes to cover some bare expenses; before I knew it, I was sleeping on the floor.

However, I was not unhappy. Au contraire, I was ecstatic! I was going to be ready for this climb and damn it I was going to win!

Entry 1: On the day of the climb, I arrived at the base of the mountain. I looked up and saw the sheer size of the beast I was to tame. I shivered, but it was not a shiver of fear. Twas one of delight! The sheer peaks, the scaly cliff faces, the mountain was truly the stuff of dreams!

I zipped up my jacket, checked my rucksack, sharpened my pickaxe, chewed my jerky, and gathered my pals. Together, Levi, Percy, and I are going to make history!

Entry 4: 14 hours into the climb, we are exhausted. Luckily, we are ahead of the other teams and can afford to rest for an hour or two. After careful debilitation, I can make out the remainder of the journey to be about 3 hours of shimmying across cliffs and about an hour of walking up a snowy slope. Not too difficult of a challenge if you have the determination for it.

Entry 5: Damn, damn, damn, damn, DAMN! The closest team to mine is much closer than I imagined and will be upon us in minutes. Just thinking about their wretched smiles gloating at me in front of my mistake… I ball my fists so hard that my nails dug through my gloves.

I wouldn’t be able to just restart the climb immediately since Levi and Percy were both asleep. My mind ransacked itself for any idea of how to stay ahead, but none came. That was until I remembered how easily it was to trigger an avalanche on this mountain. Mount Gora has snow galore and surely the authorities wouldn’t think too much of a sudden fall of a sheet of snow, would they? It could be just a tragic accident.

Yes… an accident…

Entry 6: I AM A GENIUS! It worked! I clapped a few times before a storm of snow came hurtling down at the other team, smothering them in the plush powder. I hiked over and made sure to pile more onto it to ensure the thickness so they wouldn’t escape.

By my name, I will win this race and nothing can stop me… nothing…

Entry 10: I CAN SEE THE TOP~!

In glee, I clambered my exhausted body to the top of the mountain, claiming the achievement for myself! I won! I had won at something! I had achieved something! I was… happy! If only my mother could see me now!

I skipped with delight, jumped with joy, and rolled with virile energy! Levi and Percy were of course happy to be the winners of this little parade, and they should be! Fantastic partners, the both of them!

Suddenly, the snow under my feet crumbled to dust as I fell. I had wandered in my haze upon a snow sheet and had mistaken it for a solid platform. I fell. As the wind blasted past my hair, I desperately tried to grab onto something to stop me from smashing into the mountain’s rock face but to no avail.

I fell hard and harder before blasting through the clouds with the condensation moisture staining my jacket. My bag flew off of my back and went somewhere east as my tool still stayed strapped to my belt. I couldn’t accept this. I was a champion, a legend of time! I was not going to die from falling off a mountain! And I didn’t.

Not many can say that they’ve survived falling off a mountain. I, the champion of Mount Gora, have done so! One trip of delight, one fall of grace, and the embrace of the cold snow as I smashed into the ground. At first I laughed in ecstasy, crying out to my partners Levi and Percy that I was alright. However, for whatever reason, my throat was sore.

Surely it wouldn’t fail the champion of Gora? I tried to ascertain my condition and tasted a very heavy taste of metal in my mouth and throat, choking my windpipe. I realized it must’ve been my likely chipped metal tooth mixing with my spit. Nothing more.

I tried to open my eyes but they stayed shut. I was the champion of Mount Gora and I needed to see my accomplishment damnit! I forced my left eye open only to gingerly readjust the eyelids so as to keep the snow out. My right eye was seemingly nailed shut for it refused to open for whatever reason.

I giggled, thinking about the wind that ran through my hair when I fell. I felt like I was flying for a good bit there! I looked over my body and saw the jigsaw likeness of my torso. I chuckled to myself at how I looked a little like the puzzle pieces you find at the doctor’s office.

I looked over the snow around me for my pickaxe, hoping it wasn’t lost, only to find it lodged in what appeared to be my abdomen, protruding out of what once used to be my belly-button. I laughed at the coincidence and reassured myself I would still have a trophy of this excursion to show my grandkids.

I looked up and saw how my fall had left an imprint in the clouds high up and had a good laugh at the comedic premise of it. I tried to move my legs and get up but they were too busy shivering. It was too difficult to bend my right back into shape and I resorted to resting a bit before trying again. I looked at my arms and saw that they kind of looked like tentacles in how they were bent. It kind of reminded me of Squidward from Spongebob and I had another session of guffaw.

As I joked and jived about the peculiar feeling I had all over, I felt something staining the snow beneath my head, making me feel a little woozy. I couldn’t turn my head since I was too busy admiring the clouds above and settled that it was my thermos leaking hot chocolate behind my head. No other explanation.